The Essence of Cultivation

Chapter 18: True to Form (7)



Chapter 18: True to Form (7)

Teacher Sylar was far more excited than he normally was, and Lu Qiyu did not quite know what to think about it. He had crumpled sheets of paper piled up beside him, and there were ink stains all over his fingers.

Once again, they were at the grounds of the future Nimbrian Academy of Essence Studies Sect, where she would be the future Ranking Disciple Lu, junior only to Sect Leader Sylar Spellsight. Teacher Sylar was sitting on top of his stone chair that now was paired with a table that he had created himself, having used a Spiritual Art on a nearby rock to transform it in accordance with his wishes. Her first reaction on seeing that Spiritual Art was that of awe and wonder, something that she noticed happened a lot around her teacher. Even the master cultivators of the Righteous Heart Sect respected his talents!

Sylar Spellsight was powerful, of that she knew. She had seen how Disciple Wu Guanzhong, the rising star of the Righteous Heart Sect, had been pushed back by the ferocity and cunning of Teacher Sylars Spiritual Arts. She had seen him hard at work practising with his Spiritual Arts whenever he finished his lessons with her, and he used powerful arts she had never heard of before. An Elemental Barrage? A Flare Beam? Who could ever claim to have laid eyes on such techniques?

Sylar Spellsight was also brave. She had heard from Uncle Wenchai all about how Teacher Sylar had leapt to his rescue, fended off the pack of savage Silver Guardians with his bare hands (that much was an exaggeration, she knew), before valiantly calling upon the very earth itself to free his carriage from the mud it had been trapped in. He had told her how he had leapt to her defence, his righteous spirit burning with a blazing fury, and fought off the evil cultivator who had put her under that

Her breath hitched.

Under that

Qiyu? Teacher Sylar questioned suddenly, and she yelped. Everything okay?

Teacher Sylar was attentive. There were times when it seemed as though he knew her better than she did herself. He could tell whenever she was lying or was facing some difficulty in her newest experiences in cultivation. He could see every mistake she was doing, and always offered suggestions and tips for her to overcome the difficulties she faced.

Y-yes, Teacher! she hurriedly exclaimed. One Earth Spike, coming right up!

She closed her eyes tightly, searching for the presence of Earth Essence. It was hard to do it on her own she still vividly remembered the sense of wonder she had felt the moment that Teacher Sylar had shared his senses with her, and she had glimpsed those brilliant orbs that sparkled with all the flavours of life. There had been hues of brilliant red mixed with the golds of mystery, and there had been the shifting motes of semi-transparent grey subtly hiding amongst the serene globes of blue.Updat𝒆d fr𝒐m nov𝒆lb(i)n.c(o)m

They were Fire, Fate, Form, and Water Essences respectively, she now knew but in that moment, seeing through his eyes, perceiving the world as Teacher Sylar did it was like she had always been blind before. There was so much more to life that she hadnt known before. There was all the vibrancy of Spirit, the vastness of Space, the fortitude of Earth, and the freedom of Wind.

Sure, she was only eleven, but still the thought counted! Shurui had shown her what the children her age in the sect were doing, and almost all of them had already achieved the First Comprehension!

Take your time, Teacher Sylar said, and she could hear the rustling of paper even with her eyes closed. She knew he would be peering away from the sheets that still smelled of thick incense, and for now, all his attention would be placed fully on her. Earth is very different from Fire and Water. Go slow, remember the basics, stretch out your senses and feel.

Beyond those, Sylar Spellsight was also kind. For all the power he held, and for all the knowledge cramped within that unassuming mind of his, he never once lorded it over others.

She had heard of how sects from other provinces or states had tried to disrupt the peace in Jinxiang in the past, but the master cultivators of the Penshan Alliance always managed to drive them off under the leadership of Mu Siying of the Righteous Heart. There were cultivators who thought that might made right, and that one could do as they pleased so long as they had the power to back it up, but Teacher Sylar was not such a man.

She needed to be bold. Bold as the Earth she was now calling toward her.She focused on that aspect, feeling for those orbs of courageous brown she had only ever glimpsed once before. Earth Essence was majestic and proud, and it took force of will to draw it toward her. She thought of the trial she faced of the horrors she had witnessed and the vow she had taken to never again be in that same position of weakness. It was difficult to tame the Earth, and altogether different from how she felt around Fire Essence.

Thats it, his words registered past the darkness. Take the Earth Essence. Tell it apart from all the other Essences around you. Gently let them go one by one, and focus only on Earth.

Still, slowly but surely, there was a shifting in the energies around her. Though she couldnt quite feel a single Ferin as Teacher Sylar was able to finely perceive them, she slowly brought that sensation of Earth toward her, disentangling it away from the Fire Essence that had overeagerly answered her beckons. She threaded it into what she knew was her soul, focusing on that same sensation that Sylar had shown her the day they first met.

Gently, she made the two Ferins of Earth Essence pair up, drawing them in close proximity. It was always a strange sensation, almost like bringing two lodestones that repelled each other together. The pairing yearned to release their energies, and yet was held stably within her soul.

Now would come the tricky part. Each type of Essence pair had its own activation methods and this was further complicated by the fact that the activation method was in turn slightly influenced by its neighbouring Essence pairs within the spell matrix. Teacher Sylar had told her not to worry about that when he had covered this in yesterdays lesson on the ride back down from Penshan peak, because this would only be relevant when casting Spiritual Arts of the First Level or higher.

She tentatively reached out to the Earth-Earth pair. The touch had to be just right too soft and it would never activate, too hard and she would experience a backlash. It was almost like playing an instrument in the music lessons that her father had forced her to undergo when she was younger. There needed to be a sense of harmony in the way that one reached for the Essence, and though she had been able to quickly get a hang on Fires resonance, the other Primals thus far had all been far more difficult to activate.

She breathed in, steadying herself.

Then, she opened her eyes, and pushed.

Yes!

She felt the energy flare within her, the burning sensation of Soulburn accompanying it quickly. From her outstretched palm, a chunk of earth appeared. In that brief instant as the art manifested, she tried to sharpen its edge, but the moment of action passed far too quick. Still, the Earth Spike shot forth, burying itself into the target that Sylar had set up for her to practice on.

Nice, Teacher Sylar commented. Keep up the good work.

And with that, his attention returned once more to his work. Off to the side, Rocky, Yucky, and Buddy were hard at work constructing the Academys tower. She returned to her meditative posture, feeling for the Earth Essence once more, but

For all his talent, bravery, and kindness, her honoured Teacher could also be very silly at times.

Oooh, heres the good stuff, Teacher Sylar said, grinning widely to himself. This ones definitely statistically significant

and it was at times like these that Qiyu wondered just which exactly was the true Sylar Spellsight. Master cultivator? Her teacher and mentor? The defender of the weak and paragon of good? Or was he this idiot laughing to himself while reeking of incense as he got ink smudged all over his fingers?

Now, Teacher Sylar was fully within his own world. She tried to continue in her practice, but with both her own curiosity and the constant muttering that Sylar was doing, it was almost impossible to concentrate.

Right! That was it! She couldnt take it anymore!

Just what was it that had Teacher Sylar so interested?

She walked toward him, but he barely noticed her presence, fully engrossed in the sheets of parchment spread out before him. She stood on tiptoes, peeking over his shoulders to see what he was doing. He had drawn several squiggly lines in different colours and had made strange annotations around them, but Qiyu had absolutely no idea what they meant.

Definitely an inverse relationship between water and earth here, he muttered to himself, as he continued writing on his parchment. Form and Spirit appear to show random variation... why?

Whats this?

Gah! Teacher Sylar startled, whirling to face her. She almost laughed at the look of surprise on his face. Planes Beyond, you scared me!

What is this? she repeated. And whats with all the mess?

Mess? He frowned dangerously. You call this a mess, apprentice?

Uh-oh. She knew that tone.

You insolent apprentice let me explain! Im graphing out the release of Essence against time that I observed and recorded during Quanhaos Tribulation, Teacher Sylar said. See the brown lines for Earth, the blue ones for Water, and yellow and grey are Spirit and Form respectively. If you plot them out like this, you can quite clearly see that for the most part, the curves are all independent of each other, except for this last bit here, where theres a dramatic spike in Water and a corresponding drop in Earth.

She glanced at it. All that she could see were squiggly lines doing squiggly things.

But what does this mean? Is it correlated to Quanhaos spatial position in the Tribulation plane, or is there something else afoot? he mused aloud and continued annotating his sheet. And what about the other periods like here and here, where there are sustained enhancements of both Earth and Water followed by a long dip, while Form and Spirit show no clear oscillatory patterns?

oscilla-what now?

And here in the final two recorded intervals that we know is when the Essence finally returned to normalcy theres a spike once again but why? Does that mean that whatever is causing the Essence to misbehave isnt the same as what is causing the formation of the conduit in the first place?

Sometimes, Qiyu wondered whether Teacher Sylar simply enjoyed hearing himself speak.

Does this relate to Arcanist Vespers Special Theory of Essence-Essence interactions? Everyone always called her a nutjob, but what if she was right? He paused, putting the brush to his chin and now even his chin was smudged with ink. He shook his head. No, that cant be, Arcanist Perconian proved her wrong. But then

It was bizarre to witness first-hand the many sides of her teacher. Those of the Righteous Heart called him their ally and friend, but only ever saw the potency of his Spiritual Arts. Her father and Uncle Wenchai liked him for his kindness and bravery, but never got to see the cultivator making a fool of himself as he rolled around in the mud while dodging her Water Bolts.

Qiyu? He asked, suddenly remembering her presence as she giggled at the memory. Oh, I started confusing you again, didnt I? Come on over; Ill introduce you to some basics of the scientific method, and we can have a practical experience in how it can be used to progress our understanding of Essence Studies

Yes, Sylar Spellsight was many things.

Heres what Master Rynwald taught me, and what Im now going to be teaching you, apprentice, Sylar spoke, and he deliberately made his voice sound more authoritative than usual. One who embarks upon the path of Essence Studies must possess the skills of observation and measurement. As the wisest of our kind once said measure what is measurable, and make measurable what is not. Therefore

Above all, however, Sylar Spellsight was her teacher.

And she Lu Qiyu was his student.

A cultivator.

-x-x-x-

Today was one of the rare days that Qiyu did not accompany him to their future Academy.

Sylar Spellsight yawned. The central tower was now well underway, and the quintet of Mud Elementals that he had summoned were hard at work labouring on his behalf. Soon, they could start working on the tower spire, and once that was completed, he would split them between furnishing the interior of the tower and constructing the various buildings that would be spread out across the rest of the land he now owned. There was no academy worth its Essence that lacked a library, a practice grounds, and an enchantment studio, and while hed been forced to cut corners back in Nimbria he was determined to make his new school a success.

Dispersion was more or less ready, now that he had several days to fine-tune the last few kinks. It still wasnt quite as effective as the variants he had seen other Arcanists perform more than likely, he must have forgotten to account for some variable in determining the contributions of positional isomerism in how the Essence pairs within each shell were arranged relative to one another. The spell had successfully manifested, but both the spells duration and effect of blunting of damage to the physical body were not fully efficient.

He would only repeat a casting of the Sixth Level spell at the end of the day, though. Having started his afternoon with it, he was still feeling the effects of the resultant Soulburn, and there were other things he wanted to pursue with his time.

Yang Xingling had given him an important hint. Cultivation of yang energy that of his Core Essence of Chaos was critical in ensuring that he would eventually be met with a Tribulation. Should he not engage in that, he would find himself stagnant at the bottleneck, unable to proceed any further.

And so, he was now sitting on his little stone chair, pondering on just how it all fit together. Now that it was more than two weeks since he opened his meridians, harnessing the energy of Fate-Fate was a trivial task. The next step based on his observation of the cultivators would be burning the equivalent of a First-Level spell, and harnessing the resultant energy being released.

It was generally agreed upon within the mage community that though they all shared the same Essence cost, a single First Level spell was superior to three individual cantrips both in terms of raw power and the types of effects that can be manifested. It made sense: for an exponential increase in Soulburn accumulation, there was a proportional rise in potency of the spell.

The same was likely true here: greater rewards could be earned by burning a more complex matrix, but because the combinatorial diversity of potential matrices increased with spell level, the risk of harnessing incompatible types of energy increased as one progressed. It was analogous to the inherent difficulties in creating higher-tiered spells, only here one had to account for what one had already previously cultivated. Failing to do so would result in a dispersal of qi, or in the worst cases, manifest fully as Qi Deviation.

The question, then, was this what were the rules that governed compatibility of qi?

He suspected that he would have a better understanding of these rules if the cultivators of the Righteous Heart Sect decided to reveal to him some contents of their records. He understood Essence through a whole different framework from them, and perhaps with his knowledge he might be able to discern a pattern for himself.

For now, however, he wanted to test whether or not he could draw upon the qi released from a matrix with two shells - in other words, a First-Level equivalent. He rose to his feet and readied himself.

The good thing about such a basic matrix was this - there were only so many variants that involved Chaos and Fate. Sure, he was taking a risk in doing so without any proper guidance, since he didnt know whether dispersal or deviation of qi was an immediate effect, but if he couldnt make it past this stage then there was no way he could progress past the next that involved matrices of even greater complexity.

And so, he worked his way through the various combinations and permutations that the three types of Essence pairs could fit into a two-shell-three-subshell system.

He began with three pairs of Chaos-Fate. It was not a viable spell matrix, but he knew the rules of cultivation were very different from that of spells. He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, and activated the array.

Almost immediately, a wild and uncontained energy flared up, threatening to dissipate, but he clamped down hard upon it, yanking it downward into his dantian, and -

Gah!

A brief spike of agony coursed through him. It was a sharp, searing sensation altogether unlike the ache of Soulburn. He gasped, hacking and coughing, and it felt like hed been struck by a Lightning Bolt spell of a lightning elementalist.

What in the ever-living Planes was that?

He staggered, clutching onto the frame of his chair for support. Even now, though the flash of purest agony had abated, everything just felt wrong, almost like his entire system was in upheaval. There was was a raging in his dantian, and it felt as though the once-tranquil waters of the precious qi that he had forged over the last several weeks were now in a state of turbulence.

It was singularly unpleasant. He tried to bring his qi to bear - however, for all that he attempted to will for it to move and shift, it remained stubbornly in place, and no amount of effort or force of will could stir it into motion.

Attempting to bring together incompatible energies resulted in this intense of a reaction, even when they were tied together by the common denominator of Fate?

Now, Sylar was glad that hed had the breadth of knowledge of Essence Studies to guide him. If he had unknowingly tried to tap upon any other Essence type, he could only imagine how violently the energies would have reacted.

He didnt know how much time had passed before his muscles finally stopped trembling and the numbness he felt faded away. It had to be quite some time he didnt remember the tower spire being quite so complete before he began.

Should he risk it again? The qi he had previously cultivated within him had settled somewhat, but there was a sense of unsettlement still present.

This time, he tried the opposite, and drew in three Fate-Fate pairs. This seemed the easier approach, and he wished he had begun with this sure, he knew that cultivation of yang was necessary to proceed past the bottleneck, but he reasoned that his affinity with Fate Essence should make it easier to tap upon the energy released from this spell matrix.

Activating Essence to harness the latent energy of qi from within them was different from the methods used for the casting of spells. For the latter, the mage had to have a sense of how each Essence behaved and needed to bring their soul in harmony with the Essence, and this unity resulted in the spells manifestation in the physical world. An entire field of Essence Harmonics was dedicated to the craft, and it was thought that specialisation in a particular school of magic naturally brought ones soul into resonance with the frequency of the respective type of Essence they utilised.

Generation of qi, however, was different. He couldnt quite explain how

such a term did not exist in the nomenclature of Essence Studies.

Still, the energy released from this tier of spell was an altogether different beast to tame. Even though a single Fate-Fate pair was no challenge, trying to convert what he now released into qi was a challenging task. Though he tried to grab and funnel it into the well of his dantian, much of the energy still leaked away, and he was left with the impression that he had been far more inefficient than if he simply tapped upon a single Fate-Fate pair.

He sighed. This would require some serious practice.

At least this told him that stacking this triplet of Fate-Fate in a single spell matrix would work on his previous stage of cultivating Fate-Fate alone.

Sylar frowned. An idea came to mind. How much did spell theory and cultivation align together?

For hybrid spells that drew upon multiple essence types, the innermost shells tended to have the biggest influence on the spells fundamental identity, while the outer shells tended to alter how it manifested or what it could affect. This formed the very basis of spell theory, and once Qiyu got to the point where she had the Essence capacity to cast even a single First Level spell, it would be the first thing he taught her.

Shape Fire, for example, had Form-Form at its core, with Fire-Fire peripherally imparting specific meaning to the transmutation spell. The reverse was true in Fire Dart Fire-Fire in the inner shell allowed for the generation of a fiery blaze, while the two Fire-Form pairs in the second shell granted it its shape to be used as a projectile in the first place rather than lingering in place as an amorphous flame. Though they used the same six Ferins of Essence, organising them differently allowed for vastly different effects.

If so

He formed a new spell matrix. This time, he incorporated a single Fate-Fate pair in the inner shell, and two Fate-Chaos pairs in the outer shell.

As soon as he tapped it, he knew at once that this was what he had been looking for. There was a sense of unity about it, a strength that built upon what he already had, and altered it even further. He could not grasp upon the power immediately this was trickier than even the spell purely constituted of pure Fate but at least a faint trickle of it managed to settle into his dantian.

Could it truly be that simple?

No, probably not. As spells grew in complexity with more layers that mutually interacted with every other Essence pair within the matrix, this warring duality in a spells fundamental identity and manifestation grew to the point where complex mathematics was required to even give a prediction of how a spell might work. The same was likely true with Essence.

He could continue with this exercise later. A First Level spell was harder to burn than a cantrip, because ones attention had to be focused on simultaneously tapping on all the Essence pairs that constituted it at once. If he needed to focus just to perceive the phantom energy being released, he doubted he could have his attention divided on other tasks. Perhaps soon, however, once he managed to get in sufficient practice, he would be able to mindlessly perform it just as he did with a single Fate-Fate pair, and similar to how the cultivators did.

For now, he turned back to the notes he had scribbled down after his analysis of the data he had recorded. There were clear peaks and troughs to Earth and Water Essence, and the trends roughly matched in chronological order with what Quanhao had described of his Tribulation. Close to the mountains, Earth Essence had increased in its flow, and when he had neared the bog, Water Essence had then taken its place.

What was most curious was Form and Spirit. They also had sudden spikes, but these appeared to be more due to random chance than any strict trend that he could observe.

He didnt know what it all meant. Still, it was probably no coincidence that Quanhaos cultivation was primarily derived from Earth Essence, with a minor contribution from the Water Essence stemming from his tandem cultivation with Shurui. Until he could witness another Tribulation for himself, however, any theory he could come up with had a sample size of one, and that was no grounds at all for trying to draw any conclusions.

Try as he might, however, there was nothing else he could draw from the available data. Perhaps he might retroactively be able to use it to support a model he came up with in the future, but for now, a simple description of trends he observed was all that he could do with this data.

He sighed. Even after spending several hours observing Quanhao, it felt as though he had barely learned anything new at all.

Was this going to be enough?

He glanced at the stone table he had recently created. There, an ornate-looking scroll was rolled up and tied with a fine silk ribbon. A messenger from the Righteous Heart Sect had delivered it to Jins estate just a day ago, stating that Grandmaster Mu and Elder Zhou had finally returned, and that they were now briefed of both the ongoing events in Jinxiang and that Sylar wished to meet with the Grandmaster for a discussion of his proposed arrangement.

Sylar had been elated to hear from the sect, and proposed for them to meet in three days. Since then, however, he privately wondered whether he could truly impress the Grandmaster. There was still much he did not know about Tribulation, and though he was confident that given enough time, he might be able to do something to at least help Elder Yang, there was nothing in the immediate term that might leave a lasting positive impression upon Mu Siying.

Two more days.

At the very least, Sylar should try and make himself presentable before a master such as him.

His plan was decided. He would continue with what he had just begun in his cultivation of qi, with a focus on being able to draw upon the energy of the constituent Essences more efficiently without letting the energy dissipate, and then finish up the day with Dispersion practice until he hit his Soulburn limit.

With that, he sat back in his chair in a meditative posture. Again and again, he formulated the same matrix, and began to embark on the next stage of his cultivation.

-x-x-x-

Before he knew it, two more days had passed.

Now, he, Jin, and Qiyu were once more at the gates of the Righteous Heart Sect. The group that welcomed them was larger than in his previous visits, and even Elder Yang had personally arrived to greet them.

This time, however, he was far more formal in how he addressed them than in their private discussions. Master Lu Jin, Young Lady Lu Qiyu, and Cultivator Sylar Spellsight, he greeted with a curt nod at the head of the group. The Righteous Heart bids you welcome to our humble home.

The disciples in attendance echoed his words as he said them. Sylar blinked, stunned by the dramatic reception, and wondered whether all this was truly necessary.

We shall escort you to meet with the Grandmaster, he continued. Please, honoured guests, follow me.

Quietly, Sylar did as he was told. He had thought this would be a simple affair: meet with the Grandmaster, try and sell his idea, and hopefully return home by the end of the day with the agreement successfully made.

Instead, it seemed that the sect had turned this into a far bigger deal than it should have been. He couldnt see any of the disciples engaging in combat practice or working through their martial arts forms. There was an air of ceremony to it all, and along the path, several juniors had gathered, bowed to their group, and the further along that they travelled to the grand central multi-tiered building that hed never been to before, more disciples of increasing seniority lined the path to greet them.

For Planes sake theyd even stopped burning their Essences!

All of a sudden, where Sylar had been relatively relaxed about all this before his previous mindset was that the agreement would either happen, or it wouldnt now he was suddenly feeling all sorts of nervous.

He sped up his pace somewhat. Elder Yang, he whispered, maintaining a distance of a few paces behind him. Whats with all this?

Establishing ties with your new academy and exchanging an oath to mutually work for the good of Jinxiang would demand a reception of its own, Elder Yang replied, not slowing down in the slightest. Hells, Sylar got the sense that he was enjoying his discomfort. For one who would propose to advance the teachings of our sect and in turn receive the tutelage of our own arts, the Righteous Heart can spare no expense for our honoured guests.

The path to the central building at the heart of the sect was far more direct. In no time, he was ushered forward by Elder Yang. By the door, he noticed Elder Hua standing beside a man who wore robes that denoted the same seniority as her this had to be the Elder Zhou he had heard about.

This way, Elder Yang directed him, and he didnt have the chance to say a word to Guanzhong and the others, who were standing among the more senior members of the sect.

Bewildered, and still trying to adjust to the reality he now found himself in being far, far different from how he had envisioned this meeting to be, he was only dimly aware of Jin and Qiyu being made to wait outside while Elder Yang brought him in. He was led past empty meditation chambers and practice halls, and he spied several displays that held a variety of weapons, ornamental pieces, and trinkets that all bore hints of being touched by the Planes Beyond.

He was led to a vast audience chamber. Elder Yang proceeded ahead of him, and he bowed deeply to a figure standing with his back toward them as he peered out the window of the highest floor of the grand pavilion.

This had to be Grandmaster Mu.

Grandmaster, Elder Yang greeted, head still bowed. I have brought our honoured guest. Sylar Spellsight, please pay your respects to the Grandmaster of the Righteous Heart Sect.

Hurriedly, Sylar emulated the gesture, hoping that he performed it adequately. Archmages did love for their subordinates to show them due respect, but the customs of the Immortal Lands were slightly different from those of Resham.

Grandmaster Mu, he said. It is a pleasure to finally meet you.

The Grandmaster turned around. If ever there was a cultivator equivalent of the stereotypical Archmage, Sylar swore that this would be it. His hair was almost fully white, with a long beard that flowed to his sternum. He was tall, and though his frame was not quite as bulky as Quanhaos, there was a sense of sheer power that radiated from him altogether unlike the depths of the arcane that an Archmage possessed.

He was not burning Essence and yet, simply glancing at him, Sylar could tell that his spiritual cultivation was more advanced than any of the cultivators he had met thus far. Planes, Sylar could tell with just a vague estimate that the Grandmasters Soulburn and Essence capacity probably exceeded his own. In theory, considering only those two factors, the Grandmaster would likely be fully able to cast an Eighth Level spell, though it would take much knowledge of the necessary theoretical background and skill with spellcasting.

Just what level-equivalent of spells did the Grandmaster previously have to burn to achieve his present state of cultivation?

The Grandmaster didnt speak immediately. His first action was to peer at Sylar, and he got the distinct sensation that he was being assessed. Once more, he felt like a mere Acolyte, the same as he had been on the day he first met Master Rynwald and been inducted into the path of the arcane.

Sylar Spellsight. Yang Renzhi has been telling me a lot about you, Grandmaster Mu said. His tone was stern, and together with everything else about him, he truly embodied his reputation as the protector of Jinxiang and the leader of the Penshan Alliance. Shall we begin?


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